Love Confessions A Pre-Valentine's day Show

Love, as a concept will always be beyond comprehension; however, we can delineate it with a few associations of it as an experience. Love Confessions tackles a few issues and blatantly expose the many imagery of love from flirting, romantic, filial and bitterness.

It was indeed a very special pre-Valentine's Day Show by Cebu's homegrown Our House last February 11, held at A SPACE Cebu at Crossroads, Banilad, Cebu City.

Together with my friends Evan James owner of Desargves blog and who also helped me with this review, and our other friend, LJ, we enjoyed the last full performance of the show.

Comfortably Seated waiting for the show!

Beautiful Tickets!

What made the show more interesting is that the 7 pm time slot got a surprise bonus composition by Josh Eballe who shared his piece on HOT APE: The Science of Flirting. This piece is very dear to him as this is his thesis research for his Masters in Psychology. It was a performance slash Flirting 101 Class slash 50 Shades of Cebu! HOT APE is short for the 6 Behaviors of Flirting - Humor, Open Body Language, Touch, Attention, Proximity, and Eye Contact and we were a lucky bunch to learn about it!

As I have said, the HOT APE  was a bonus and a very special one. Followed by the great 8 other masterpieces and here goes.

Josh Eballe; man of many talents!

AKIN KA NALANG, PLEASE? written by Mark Ghosn and performed by Clint Solante is a story about a guy and his girl best friend and his love for her, but there's one problem; The girl is in love with someone else. It was a monologue of his feelings towards the girl and how he's the better man for her versus the other guy. What made the story interesting is how it was delivered with subtle adlibs, Clint's charm and of course, as premier actors of Our House, they delievered it as if they are the characters of the monologue.

"Mas madami pa syang date kesa sa kalendaryo!"

LISOD KARIBAL SI PAPA JESUS written by Abyy Orbeta, translated to Cebuano and performed by Ansel Ancajas is a story about a girl's longing for his longtime crush from her college years until they graduated and years after, she still wasn't over with him. Until one day, one trip to Baguio, they met and didn't expect to see him on the same bus and their journey to Baguio led her to the news that he will be soon joining the seminary. and it was indeed she knew then, that her rival will be Jesus with the love of her life and it was indeed hard to be a rival of Jesus.

 

Everyone loved Ansel's performance here!

"Nag pray nako sa ampuan para machange lang iyang mind! 

Nag ampo nako sa langit, sa lupa, kay Buddha, kay Allah! 

kay Je... ay karibal baya ko ni Jesus.. 

sa mga angels.. ay close man sila ni Jesus... 

basta nag ampo ako sa mga dili close ni Jesus!"

DILI PWEDE NGA DILI NA written by Mark Ghosn, translated to Cebuano by Josh Eballe and performed by Nash Durano who gave a very startling entrance! His facial expression sang Jennifer Hudson's "And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going" without opening his mouth, which brought to the monologue of his confrontation with his partner that's breaking up with him even if they've been together for a very long time. He even changed himself for the guy who wants him to be the discreet manly gay guy. The lines and delivery of Nash may come out as comedy, but this is one of the realities that most LGBT sadly faces. The twist at the end of him not letting his lover break up with him and stepping his foot down proved that if you really love someone, you really have to fight for it; in one way or another.

"So no, you're stuck with me because I'm not accepting your break up. 

You have to give me a more valid reason than that. Now, dinner is ready."

DALAWANG KURAP, written by Mark Ghosn and performed by Rachel Laya-og is my favorite both in monologue and Rachel being a performer as well. This was already proven with her history of monologues and performances before. Her monologue is a story about her confrontation about her boss' break up with his relationship, however, what seems to be a conversation of trying to know the story, ended up of his confession of his feelings for her that he really loves her.

Rachel Laya-og always gives her best!

"at ikatlo, magpaalam ka muna kina mama at papa ha. 

Kasi baka magulat nalang sila pupunta ka bukas ng alas-10 ng gabi 

tapos may dala kang isang box ngFerrero nakakagulat kaya...

kung ayaw mo eh di dalawa."

KILALA NA KITA written by Denise Danielle and performed by OurHouse cast and this was one of the masterpieces of their performance. They performed it in such a way that the last few lines of the first person will be continued by the second cast and so on and so forth. It was a simple performance that I got lost in their performance and mesmerized by the monologue as well. This is a monologue about someone's love for a special someone and how that person knows everything about that special someone from their first heartbeat, to their heartbreak,  and letting that special someone the very special kind of love.

"Nung unang beses na tumibok ang puso mo, kilala na kita."

PINAKA MAHIRAP PATAWARIN ANG SARILI

Love for One’s Self—acknowledging the inevitability to err but never living in the definition of the mistakes.

Nothing is more courageous than knowing and acknowledging your flaws and making it an asset to improve. It may be inevitable, as humans, to err but it should not be a part of us as a definition. Cliché as it may sound, but loving one’s self may be the greatest gift one can give to his or herself. Oftentimes, we discredit the beauty of our deeds. We tend to downplay the experiences that ought to be lauded and instead we hide in the stains of our mistakes, like as if it has become our psyche. We live in the imperfections of our deed—feeding our insecurities and lack of self-worth. We look too closely at it that we forget to look at the bigger picture. We are too engulfed in the stain that we miss out the rest of the details that makes the picture a wonderful experience. Indeed even though how bad our actions may be at times, there will always be beauty in it. That it will always impart a lesson that should be cherished, and not regrets.

Pinakamahirap Patawarin ang Sarili written by Rod Mamol, performed by Troy Tomarong circles around the theme of self-worth and self-love. In his portrayal, he highlighted his imperfections: the time when he cooked rice but turned it into porridge, the time when he got a failing mark in Geometry when he was late in his first day of work. The story, however, ended with a consolation of his mistakes. He looked at the brighter side of it: that instead of looking at the semi-porridge rice they must instead be happy that there is food, the lessons learned in every mistake.

Troy’s portrayal was effective and his funny tricks also made it through. He balanced the heaviness of the theme with his quirky self. It is very commendable especially when you have to juggle from being serious to throwing antics every once in a while. However, it was not all smooth. There were times when he stutters or he forgets his line but it wasn’t that obvious. Overall, Troy’s portrayal of the story was splendidly done. -Desargves

KUNG ALAM KO LANG

Love for a family—the certainty of goodbyes in a lifetime.

Memories last long. People come and go but memories are there to stay, even in the absence of the person the memory is attached. Memories aren’t easily voided. When someone dear departs, we cry and the solace is brought about by the memories—the happiness, the hardships, the very essence of the person. Memories give comfort. It gives a consolation beyond the comfort of physical touch.

Memories swarm like that of stars. They twinkle but they never fool your sight. And every night, when the need arises, you just need to look up and watch the memories twinkle, as they fill your heart and sight with happiness and nostalgia.

Kung Alam Ko Lang, written by Brian Vee and performed by Everlid Catugal revolves around the story of a son storytelling that tragic night his mother befell at the hands of death. The main character, as portrayed, drowned in the thoughts of regrets as he failed to accompany his mom on the night of her demise.

He introduced with a concept in science—Albert Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. The act used the imagery of stars as a symbolism of the memory of the mother. The act was presented in Filipino (Tagalog) which I think would have been more effective if it were delivered in English or Cebuano since Cebuano/Bisaya are more efficient in those two languages. The theme was heavy, which required the actor, Everlid, to cry but he wasn’t that effective in portraying his tears. More so, I feel that he was conflicted with his lines and his act that none of it were efficiently delivered. Everlid is somehow detached with the nature of his character that portraying him tasted unnatural.  Anyhow, he was still able to deliver the message he has to impart. -Desargves



MAAYONG ADLAW, LANGGA! KUMUSTA NA MAN KA DIHA?

Love that lasts a Lifetime—’til death do us part: of a love that was and a love that will last.

Enjoy everything while they last because once they’re lost they’re lost for a lifetime, they say. But never true love. Love, like energy, can never lose its essence. Instead, it lasts longer than a lifetime. The memorabilia, the testimonies—these are what makes it last. An act of love, no matter how small, never fades into the nothingness but instead is celebrated.  A love that was is the same love as it lasts. Most times, it is never jaded by adversities instead it is strengthened.

THE Mr. Nicholas Ampatin!

Maayong Adlaw, Langga! Kumusta Na Man Ka Diha? written by Zuella Herrera, translated to Cebuano by Josh Eballe, performed by Nicholas Ampatin is a sad story of a long time couple separated by death. It is also rather a hopeful realization of the fervent love that was and still is. The whole ride was a reminiscence of the acts of love from the dearly departed wife to his husband.

Theatre certainly knows no age and Nicholas Ampatin is undeniably aging well. Nicholas Ampatin portrayed the character well. The act was presented in Bisaya so the language isn’t a barrier to effectively convey what there is to convey. Although the crying scene wasn’t as effective as it should be, it still brought a slight twitch in me. The script was somehow repetitive and the images were redundant. The act may have been prolonged with more lines, more experience. Overall, Nicholas brought the character to life very well. -Desargves

-*-

It was rather interesting that the first few monologues were performed in Filipino ( aka Tagalog) which actually made my friends wonder because most of the performance they did before was in Bisaya. It was when some of the pieces where performed in Bisaya that made them at ease, not knowing that this is actually a challenge for them and made me appreciate them more in terms of translating into Bisaya and the performers speaking in Filipino (aka Tagalog), because we know, there are people who are challenged to speak in that language.

Overall, I give a 9/10 rating for this show.

When Josh shared his piece HOT APE: The Science of Flirting, I didn't know that, one, it was part of the show, two, it was a last minute composition that he did for the show which really made it even more special. How many performances/plays/shows have you watched last minute compositions like this!

The performers did a great job in portraying their characters. It was as if they were the characters in the monologue they performed and were speaking to us.

It was also a rather humbling experience when Josh shared with everyone his awards from the recent Sinulog Short Film Competition. He wasn't able to attend the Awarding Ceremony due to the show. From their previous performance Pit Senyor kay Merci Kini, they turned it into a film that made him the 2nd Best Picture, Best Supporting Actor, and Best Screenplay/Story as well. The Best Supporting Actor, Mr. Nicolas Ampatin wasn't aware that he won the award since they just announced it during the show and emotions really filled the air.


There were just a few minor technical slips during the surprise, last-minute performance for HOT APE, some minor lighting, and a few lines that didn't sync, however, these were just dust in the wind in terms of the overall performance, because that, the message and their hard work are more important.



Beyond the act, the monologues, the simplicity, and sincerity of their performance, the emotions, the tears, the audience's laughter, the words, the lights, the darkness, the warm embrace, the awards. They continue to deliver the best pieces, monologues, and performance. From someone who has a background in theatre, they just didn't do monologues but made sure that these performances were made special- the translation to Cebuano, the very intricate performance KILALA NA KITA, and I would definitely would like to shout out to Mr. Nicolas Ampatin - I've never known someone who at his time, still has the passion and energy to do theatre plays.


To Our house, our sincerest and deepest thank you for giving Cebuanos the chance to enjoy the life of an audience watching theatre plays at a very reasonable price, yet delivers extravagantly.  - Mark aka Vondraye

Taking their final bow

Overall, the experience I had in the play was more than splendid. With the various acts, it will bring you to the many dimensions there is in love. The atmosphere was also engaging. The spectators followed the house rules which made the experience even grander. The acts from two ladies and Nash were superb. They were really in character. Their humor was never bland. Very natural. A little discomfort though for their comfort room since it’s slightly far from the venue but what gives? The comfort room is of littlest concern since the play is the highlight (hahaha). There were also a minute technicality problems, yet they didn’t hinder the actors from portraying their characters. - Evan James aka  Desargves

You can visit their Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ourhousecebu/ to get updates on their next performances and get to know the performers as well! 

Vondraye's Tuna Spread Recipe

Last Friday (Good Friday of the Holy Week) I brought tuna spread since we were advised that the office pantry will be closed. I don't want to gamble and work without feeding my dragons. I don't have enough time to prepare so I just mixed the ingredients in a whip.
I don't know if they really like it or they're just saying it... Nyahaha!!

Here goes the recipe:
I will be using my original recipe since this  one I did last (Good) Friday wasn't my original.

*1 big bottle of Sandwich Spread (I used the big bottle of Tuna Sandwich Spread costs around 190php as of April 2017)
 3 big cans of Tuna and 1 big can of spicy tuna (or if you want it to be more spicy, you can change the 1 can of spicy to 2)
1 small can of mushroom, sliced
1 small pack of pineapple tidbits (you have the option of buying the crushed, but I'd rather crush/finely chop them myself)
2 bulbs onion (I use 1 red and 1 white), finely chopped
Salt and Pepper to taste
2 hardboiled eggs diced
Cheese, diced (it depends on you, if you're a cheese lover like me, use one bar of cheese by all means)
Carrots, finely chopped 


Drain Tuna and mash them up until they're coarse. 
Mix in mushroom and onions. 
Mix in salt and pepper. 
Then mix with the diced hard boiled eggs, cheese carrots, chopped pineapple and mayonaise.

Yes, my version is protein on protein on protein... 

Enjoy!

10 Websites To Boost Your Career

"The best things in life are free, the second best are very expensive."-Coco Chanel

So I say, why pay for mastery classes if you can get it for free? That’s why I’m sharing with you 10 websites where you can get free online courses to boost your career growth. Here are some websites to quench that thirst for learning, because if there’s something that we want to feed nonstop; it’s our brains.

These 10 websites may look just a number but these websites offer a door to thousands of windows to thousands and millions of courses that can open your mind and boost your career growth!


1. Hubspot Academy  

Wanna boost your career with inbound marketing and sales? This is the place. Hubspot academy will help your career in marketing and sales boost to the top as they are the worldwide leader on this matter.

They already gave out more than 50,000 certifications to their learners and you can add up to that number as they offer free online courses that specialize in marketing and sales. We have team members who already are Hubspot certified and have excelled and enhanced their marketing know-hows.

Whether you have a sales or marketing background, Hubspot will definitely help you with it!

2. Coursera

The website highlights the specializations and subjects available, highlighting Top Specializations, Popular Courses and Top Rated Courses, however, you still have the search box if you need specific course details whether it will be business, marketing or IT, they have courses available for you. This is no joke as they have 150 partners over 29 countries offering 2065 courses; that’s a lot of food for the brain!

On the go? Coursera is available on the App Store for Apple users and Google Play for Android, so whether you’re using a desktop, mobile phone or tablet, you can access them anytime anywhere.

Whether you’re a businessman wanting to learn about IT or on Social Science but wanting to learn about Management, or just want to further enhance what you already know and keep in the loop, this site can offer you such.

The best of all, what’s the proof of your course? You can get a certificate from them too!

3. Codecademy  

Looking into boost your career in coding? Codecademy literally gives you free coding course for FREE. One of Time’s 50 Best Websites will surely bring that uncertainty to serenity, and join other 25 million learners around the globe who already have their fair share of success from this site. Watch their video or read people’s testimonies upfront on the first page to know how their career skyrocketed with Code Academy.

They do have free learning for school or education and also one for business, and for a fee, you get more services from them too.

4. EDX

EDX was founded by Harvard University and Massachusetts Institute of Technology also known as MIT, so you know you’re getting high-quality learning. This massive open online course provides high-quality courses pairing up with world’s leading universities, nonprofits, and institutions with more than 90 global partners.

They are proud to say that they are established and led by colleges and universities, nonprofit, and open source of online courses.
From Language to Biology, boost your career in marketing, management skills, keep up to date your IT and Programming skills with EDX.
EDX provides a certificate of your achievement once you’ve finished the course. What’s more, they also offer specialized programs for a more advanced learning to further progress your career.

5. MIT Open Courseware 

MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) is one of the founding father of EDX and they too, have their own version of free web-based online courses for your career growth. They boast 200 million visitors with 2340 courses to choose from and you can be added to their statistics as they publish all their course materials online and make them widely available to everyone.

6. Udemy 

Udemy website may sound intimidating onset of the page because of the prices, but this site offers free courses that you can take as well. Just search via the search button and there are dozens of free online courses to choose from to boost your career.
Their site offers different categories from Level, Language, Features and Price and sort from most relevant, most reviewed, highest rated, newest, from the highest price to lowest and vice versa.

7. Kutztown University of Pennsylvania  

The Kutztown University of Pennsylvania – Small Business Development Center offers Online Learning programs to start off your career in entrepreneur, business, management, marketing and so on. They have a wide range of courses to choose from, and a long list of over 90 free on-demand online programs and they keep adding more.

More than the free online courses, they also offer consultation services, workshops, and business planning in case you have that extra funds that you can spend on.

8. Harvard University Online Learning 

Free.Online.Harvard.Courses. Yes, you read it right, I don’t know why you won’t visit this, it’s Harvard! FOR FREE! There’s a pool of free courses that you can access on their website that you can take mostly done online they also have paid online courses if you opt for a more in depth more specific learning. The search button is helpful to search and the filter section is also a big help narrowing down your search criteria.

9. Open 2 study 

Open 2 study lets you access courses on the Free courses page and what’s more is that they also provide free certificate of successful completion of it. What makes the site interesting is that once you’ve created your account either from scratch or using your social media- Facebook, Twitter or Linkedin, you can connect to people and it works like a classroom having classmates; make that, cyber classmates, or you can invite your friends to join too.
This website will help you with your career as they have a wide range of courses to choose from. You can search by Level of Study, Category, or Free Course in their Accredited Course tab.
This will definitely boost your career and further improve on your chosen field and give that career growth an edge.

10. inLearning of LinkedIn 

This is a bit tricky as they do provide free learning for a month, however, they need a credit card, the payment will take place after a month. I took as many learning as I can within a month and there were just too many interesting and helpful courses to take so I just took the most important. They will e-mail you and it is also helpful to keep a reminder to unsubscribe after 29 days so that they will not charge your credit card. It was indeed a hassle to monitor the date, but all the learnings were all worth it. What I love about this is that it automatically records your courses and attach it to your Linkedin profile. The courses have a video and transcript available for you to view.




You can choose from a wide range of courses to boost your career, even change careers from business to IT, adult learning to management, whatever career path you choose, they have a course for you. I know, because my team members did!

*Blog first appeared at GO-VA Company Website and my LinkedIn Account

The Last Straw

My shoulder hurts as I just finished a gruelling 2 or 3 hours of work out. However, it won’t hurt that much creating this profile for a simple reason; lack of respect. From the start, I didn’t want another social network profile. I’ve had enough. I’m contented with multiply, blogspot, and my mini micro PLU sites.

It was then agreed (since we were “required” by the school for my Masters to have a FB account) that we’ll be creating a couple or rather, a joint account. However, it was the last straw. I MAGICALLY got untagged just because I was sooooooooo little in the picture. We already talked about this before. One event status became MAGICALLY not attending. There were A LOT of previous things that MAGICALLY happen, or disappear without me being informed.

Anyway, it was you who pushed this to be created, and you already know the circumstances and the consequences, I told you, I’m here to make you happy, but it doesn’t necessarily mean I’ve changed. I’m still that nice boy if you’re nice, be the opposite and you‘ll know what.

I’ll just make this short since there will be new notes that will come our way. Meantime, this will serve as a warning, and a reminder that I love you, but I have my limit.



You shouldn't worry though, I still will be the one to cook for you as I have promised, make you giggle before you sleep, I'll make sure you're smiling before you close your eyes, and will be doing that until your hair is white. So don't fret.

Husband

*This post was posted on my newly opened facebook account. Add up guys...

my story for theorg-y on Coming Out

My HIS-story



I only got the courage to come out during my college days after I transferred from UP Los Baños to Lyceum Institute of Technology, then, now known as Lyceum of the Philippines-Laguna. After spending my time and experiencing academic freedom (from UPLB), it taught me almost everything, and I mean ALMOST EVERYTHING.



That’s when (and where) I learned to come out. It started when my lesbian classmate during college in LPL when she came out during our 3rd year. Since we’re only 12; the pioneer batch of our course, we were closer than the other courses and other BIATCH, I mean batch. Anyway, she said this will “prevent” further gossips, “Eh di wala na silang pagchichismisan, dahil alam na nila.” (Then they can’t create rumors or gossips anymore since they already know.”) That made all the sense in the world, thus, making me come out not just to them, to all the teachers, admin staff, but to other “other” students as well (I was an irregular student, so I get to sit in classes with other courses as well (these classes were block sections; they’re your classmates until the end; err.. I mean until you graduate)). That’s where I felt the respect I want as a gay student, not afraid of being bullied and getting those hi’s and hello’s without the fear of gossips behind my back. (As if I care?!)



One of those memorable coming out moments was with my GAWAD family. It was rather harder to come out to them since these people are coming from all over the corners of Laguna; from Paete, Pakil to Rizal, Fami, Nagcarlan, Liliw, Calauan, Los Banos, to San Pedro and Binan. I can still remember of giving them hints(eseses) by bringing pictures of 2005 Cosmo Batchelor Bash, and such gay things, I was already giving lots of hints actually, but since I was “that” manly, and they’re not that judgmental; they just shrugged it off. Come 2006 when I was fully pledged part of their org; I was part of their theatre and already got closer to them. That’s when I showed them my ex-gf’s picture and my (then) boyfriend’s picture. They were really giggling about it that they can’t believe I was one. Little did they know, I dated(and did) one of the old members. It was then, they loved me more. Every year, a new batch comes in and I have to think of new ways of coming out. Haha!



When I started working here in Makati, I‘ve never thought being gay is normal, like normal NORMAL. When I was in training, we were asked to introduce ourselves and showcase your talent crap and all. We were 3 straight guys, 3 straight gays and all straight girls. That’s the time where I felt respect, acceptance and happiness with what I am, and who I was. I never felt more comfortable knowing that these people know I’m gay and loves me for it, and the funny part, since I was the probinsyano boy in the metro, who looks like I just escaped fashion prison, they REALLY didn’t believe I was gay until the 2nd week of our training. GOSH!






…and the Coming out party





“Okay, I’ll treat you guys as long as you’ll promise that you’ll tell them about that.” This was my cousin’s proposal when she “confronted” me(via YM) that when she gets back here in the Philippines (she’s in the US), I’ll tell my brother, sister, and cousins(mother side); that I’m gay. DEAL! Her family was one of my closest; they’ve supported my endeavors and dreams and I’ve grown with them spiritually too, that’s why I love them so much. At a resto in Greenbelt, she treated us all, and when we finished our meals, after paying the bill, she initiated the conversation; “What did you tell mom (my aunt) “if its confirmed”?” I was getting red, and just told them; “…that I’m gay.” My brother’s girlfriend was semi-surprised because she(everyone already have an idea, duh?!) heard it straight from ME. It was then the topic that night and which included setting rules; no gowns, or cross dressing (which I’m really not comfortable doing), all and that. I told them I’m not yet ready to tell mom and dad, and too bad sister was not there, since she was my closest sibling. I was more at peace, since brother(whom I wasn’t close to begin with and I had a fight with him since I was 18) told me that he already knew a couple of years, and it was okay with it. It was another thorn removed from my heart knowing that my family, real family knows who I am.






WHY?!





With gay men having some identity crisis; I encourage them to come out. I get to have those raised eyebrows from them, thinking who am I to tell them what to do, and its okay, I understand them; especially since I’m not “them.” However, I enlighten them with what’s with coming out.



Other than my life story, this was true with my ex-bf and husband. I’m not sure if it was me who pushed them or encouraged them to come out, but it was a revelation for both of them and their parents as well. My ex, Euan, who came out to his parents now has a better relationship with them, while husband came out to his mom a couple of years back, and we can now sleep on his room, with open doors, and just last weekend, Tita woke us up to get ready for breakfast; while husband is hugging me.



One of my friend who didn’t came out, is now having a hard time coping with gossips at work. He didn’t came out the first time, and since then, until now, he’s still having a hard time coping with these; at work. “Sana sinabi ko na dati pa, para di nako nahihirapan ngayon.” (I hope I could’ve told them earlier so I’m not having a hard time dealing with them now. )








The not-so-perfect world



When I was in the middle of my identity crisis, I still have, and up to now, still regretted not telling my straight high school best friend. We were both in college, but still maintained our communication through phone every now and then. There was one time “that” topic was opened up, I don’t know why I was afraid to tell him so I denied it. During my junior and senior year, majority of our highschool batch already knew about me, because my ex girlfriend turned bestfriend helped me out to come out to our closest friends, and since that’s one big news, it spread throughout the school. Just a couple of months ago, I saw him on facebook, and since it was a couple account with me and husband, of course, by that point in time he already have an idea. I tried asking him for us to talk, but he don’t want to anymore; “para ‘san?”(what for?) He asked. It still bothers me, but I need to keep my composure. So guys don’t let that one chance pass, tell them; if they accepted you, they’re a true friend and if not, baka bekcy din sila! (They might be gay as well!) Joke! And so I thought, my ex girlfriend and her family, and her husband, and my friends LOVE me, that’s what keeps that small dark cube of sadness on the corner of my heart.








Wrapititup!



God gave you life, God gave you choices, I chose to be like this because I’m happy and I’m making others happy. It depends on your family background, your group of friends , beliefs, etc. Someone I know was actually sent off when he came out. There are a couple of gay guys whose situation calls for to be closet, and all I can say is pray. It’s hard to be in the closet; almost everyone went through that, and from what I know, and experienced, your FAITH and prayer can help.



For those whose situations are much lighter, come on, COME OUT! You’re missing a lot of things. Society are now getting more and more open about same sex, and religion is not an issue anymore, that’s why I love about MCCph. they introduced me to gay issues in the bible, and just like the revalations in the book of judas, I love the revalation of st sergius and bachus, and st felicity and perpetua. So from here, I already have something to bag me up that not everything in the bible is anti-gay. We already have our saints, they’re here for us.



It will still come down to your choice. Whether to come out or not, find reasons not to and find reasons to, finding yourself or finding your identity, it will end up to whether you want to come out or not. All I can say is life is gay, and so am I.

on moving and wings

“Tara, lilipat na tayo ng bahay.”

Or something like that.

This is what my dad said to me/us. I felt surprised and hesitant. Lola just died and we need to move? We’ve been living in this house forever, and we’re moving EVERYTHING?! Dad said it was just a couple of blocks away. I really was hesitant, but in the same time, excited. Dad works as a contractor so he knows if the house is good. We all then started packing our things; just like that. I was overwhelmed by how much things I have! We were packing then dad invited us to visit the place first, we were walking on the streets and a couple of blocks was our “supposedly” new place!

It looked grand, it was big and spacious and just big! When I was already feeling dizzy because of its humongous space; I woke up.

Okay, back to sleep.

Then, Jaime Fabregas showed up.

A cute teenager, early 20ish, chinito, in red checkered polo was hugging him, calling him daddy, asking his permission to go with us; his barkada. He shooed him away and that’s the time that we played around. They were in a field of green grass, more like baker hall, but wider, and with only 1 tree in the middle. When we turned, there’s this abandoned old building, we went inside and we were trying to explore the building, we suspected that there’s something bad going on since we saw a couple of goons, they went hiding and we looked for them. Eventually they pursued us as we tried to escape, we were followed by the goons and then, chinito guy, removed his polo, and revealed wings at his back! Just like Archangel from the X-Men series. We were all surprised and he flew to freedom, eventually, we were able to free ourselves as well. Then, without any warning, I’m him! I felt the wings at my back, and it was kind of hard to maneuver it as we walk along the field. We went to Jaime Fabregas’ (now my dad) office and checked if there’s anything that will show proof that he’s a crook. Then, without any warning he shooed me away again and was in a hurry. I found out that there were a couple of crooks with him in the fire exit, trying to escape. I then went out as the goons were trying to catch me. I then tried spreading my wings (Yes butterfly!) and that’s when I felt I’m half awake; moaning. I was flying around when suddenly husband woke me up.

Pft.

Image taken here.

Of weekends and announcements (and special mentions)

What happened this weekend was quite peculiar. I was doing my weekend to do list when Saturday morning, husband asked me to go with him and spend the weekend over at their place in Laguna. I’m already finished with my to do list- wash my white shirts, arrange my files and important documents. However, he insisted me to go with him. Out of love, and those pa-cute ways and cuddles of him; I lost the battle. I was pissed off though when he was about to text tita “Sasama si Mark pauwi dyan.”(Mark will go with me there). I was like… what the?!? You invited me even though I already have plans (STRIKE 1!) and you’ll tell her I want to go!? STRIKE 2!



We then prepared going to his hometown in San Pablo. Tita Madel(his mom) welcomed us with my favorite Beef Asado, we surprised her though with ice cream. After our hearty meal, I watched television first before joining husband for an afternoon siesta. Tita woke us up since we are to attend Joey’s birthday party; husband’s 10 year old cousin. It was rather a fun party since I was able to meet tita’s elder brother and see tita Pinky’s cute shitzus; Lucky and Jasmine. After the party, it was nice to see his whole family being warm to me especially his lola who keep on saying “Sana dito ka na every weekend!” (I hope you’re here every weekend!) We went back to their home and took a rest, I told him that we need to go before lunch since we still need to attend mass plus, I have a shift at 8pm.

Sunday morning, we then ate again, a hearty meal courtesy of his mom and we were on our way back to the metro. We attended mass at Megamall and went home for me to prepare for work. I didn’t get enough sleep and I told him not to do that again; unplanned trips. He knows how I get stressed when I don’t get enough sleep before work. STRIKE 3! I visited MCC, and boy, the room was overflowing! There were lots of guests last Sunday! Too bad I wasn’t/can’t join them. Then, before I went to work and ate “breakfast” at Pizza Hut, since I really have this nasty headache thus, the picture on this entry. A couple of friends requested that I pos t my new hairdo too.


I’m excited to join the theorg-y on Sept 1. It’s just like coming out, again… and again… and again… I’m already doing the draft because I want this to be special; just like my old coming out moments. Funny though, I have yet to email the owner of the theorg-y; he posted my “other” blog site. Hahhaha!!


Already bought groceries yesterday, excited to become a full time house-band! Cooking for husband! Tita asked me if I know how to cook, I told her not like her, but yeah, I know a couple of dishes or two, and pasta! She said she’s hoping I could teach her son (husband) on how to cook since both of them (him and his brother) don’t know how to dance with pots and pans. Inside, I just told myself, that’s why we’re here for tita…


Excited for this weekend for our GAWAD Kamustahan, Bi El (Bahay Laguna) Day and General Assembly, I miss my GAWAD family!



Excited this Friday because we'll be buying his Nokia N8 and my Ericsson phone, a bit pissed because I still can't decide which phone to buy and getting more pissed because Satio and Aino joined the list. Though, I already crossed out Xperia and Xperia Mini since it wasn't really worth the price, plus Xperia is sooooooo big. We tried Satio and Aino last Friday and damn, I really love them, with Vivaz of course.


Then, to finalize it all, we're both excited to watch Mamarazzi, of course, by our very own Eugene Domingo. YAY!



Special Mentions to!


Sheenah, and her wonderful baby Danah! Her pictures work wonders; stress and anger disappears! Smile suddenly appears!


ex-bf Euan,visited last Friday before going to a party.


Rajsh, the queen of drafts! your highness! Hahaha!!


J_ _ _ r_ _, good luck stalking, errr hunting him! Hahaha! You're lucky you're on the same building!

Dead bored sickening bored.

Dead bored sickening bored.

It’s nearly the end of the month, so we’re slacking big time, but it is to our (or rather my) advantage because for some reason, I suddenly didn’t feel well. My mantra last night before going to work was I’m good, I feel good, and I’ m feeling fine. When I arrived at work, I was wearing 3 jackets! Good thing I’m now better, since it wasn’t that busy at work, I was reading Darren Shan’s Cirque Du Freak Book 10 entitled “THE LAKE OF SOULS.” It gets boring on some of the parts so I was skipping that and went on blog hopping. I realized I need to ‘release” these things in my mind.
Last week was actually filled with dreams, from bizarre ones to again; R-18 dreams (details/story at my vaughndraye site), especially after we watched Inception last Monday, I slept the rest of the day in the office and damn I dreamt about inception!

I was to blog those “interesting” dreams from last week, but I didn’t get the time to, since we went back to Manila for my grandmother’s best friend’s birthday party.
I was walking in a village, I think it was near Umali, with my young students and went inside one of my student’s home. They were doing their project while others were just hanging out, watching television. It felt differently; emotionally, since it felt good- bonding with my students, just a bit younger. It was rather cloudy, but no rain, and a couple of minutes, I saw my old high school friends walking. (*That’s the sign I needed to visit Sheenah.)
There were a few details of several dreams that I already forgot.During the weekend, I filed my LOA for my first semester for my masters. I’ll be returning back to school 2nd semester, since I’ll be on a Friday and Saturday off. I was about to go when this groupies in black screamed at me; my classmates! I asked them,”Sino patay? (Whose dead?)” They gave me a puzzled look,and I gave one too. “You’re all in black!” That’s where they all laughed. They were on their way to eat lunch and invited me to join. I so missed them so much! After their lunch, Andrea one of my two best bud went with me to SM Sta. Mesa to create my 2nd personalized shirt with a label “von draye’ in front. She went back while I went to Cubao to buy a couple of “pasalubongs” at Breadtalk; one of the few stores we don’t have in Los Baños.
I packed my things and went to Buendia bus station, and dozed off; big time! I just woke up when I was near Sheenah’s place already! I went down, screaming and knocking the door for hours, but no answer, good thing I bumped into Shelani; her younger sister who opened the door for me. There were lots of stories, however, it was cut short since I still have to go home with my mom’s sinampalukang manok waiting for me! I was so excited for the baby to come out!
I ate like the usual “me” and went to sleep. I woke up with a smile on my face, since I miss my bed. That was it; we were to visit grandma’s bestfriend, celebrating her 86th birthday. After all the fuss, they dropped me off at the condo and prepared for mass. I was happy to see an old face, and old friend Khalel, and he brought someone with him too! We need to go earlier than the usual since husband has a shift that night, we ate dinner before his shift and made it our “celebration” but changed our minds; we didn’t enjoy eating at Tokyo Tokyo Bistro, since their veggies were just peas, corn and carrots. We gave our goodbye kiss and parted our ways. I went home, took a good night rest and woke up Monday morning.
My plan to work out didn’t push through since I was still dead sleepy around 6am, 7am and 8am! I was waiting for husband to wake up, but since he’s sound asleep, I didn’t bother waking him up. You know? When there’s this goodlooking guy at your bed, sleeping soundly (no snores!), with that angelic face, hugging his pillow, you can’t stop and smile, and you just have to let him sleep. After 2 hours, he woke up and we prepared to go to SM to buy him new shoes. I was about to go to the gym after that, however, we then suddenly planned to watch Inception. It was sooooooooooooooooo good! We went home, prepared and went back to the office to sleep. That’s when I kept on dreaming about Inception.

Yesterday was one of the weirdest schedules we had; going to work at 4am. We were scheduled for a training at 9am to 1pm. When we checked the place, there were no people. We checked with the organizer, it was cancelled. We logged in and worked for less than an hour and went home. I surprised husband since it was not in the plan for me to go home, because my next shift starts at 1am the next day, and the slow mover that I was, I planned to sleep in the office. Good thing I went home and cuddled and slept holding his hands.

casual conversations; family edition; dad's bloopers

Since it was my dad’s birthday last weekend, I would like to dedicate this post for him.


I’m not really close to my family, most especially to my dad, probably since growing up, I was more close to my grandma, sister and mom, more fond with my girl cousins and aunts. He doesn’t know my favorite food, he doesn’t even know my age at times, or probably I’m being over melo dramatic. What can I say?! I'm his gay son. Hehehe…


My dad grew up on a rice farm, at the back end of San Miguel, Bulacan, literally at the boundary between Bulacan and Nueva Ecija. He was the youngest of the 13, and the most successful of them too, (and yes, I have 12 uncles and aunts) that’s why he “thinks” that he’s always right, probably that’s another reason why we weren’t close; we’re bound by our differences and opinions.


I’d like to share those moments that he really made us(or rather me) smile, despite of his serious aura, he can as funny as (and since he looks like) Jimmy Santos.





When I was a kid, we are to drink 1 big can of Bear Brand milk everyday; that's your key to get out of the house, unless you drink your milk, you can't get out of the house. My dad too, drinks with me and my siblings. One morning,



Dad: Kuha mo nga ako nung teddy bear...

ME : Anong Teddy Bear?

Dad: Ikuha mo ako nung may teddy bear sa kusina...

ME: Bakit naman sa kusina, wala naman teddy bear 'dun?!

Dad: Yung iniinom! ?
*Mom just went out of the kitchen with the brand of milk with a bear as their logo.

Dad: Eto o!?



TOINKS!





One of the things I loved to do were read books, during my high school years when I have my allowance made it more addicting, since I have the financial power to buy me one. It was more exciting especially when my cousins in the U.S. sent me Chicken Soup for the soul series. After my 1st year in college at UPLB, I need to transfer to another school. Dad was upset that I have to transfer again, plus it was a private school so the tuition was like 7x with my tution in UPLB. He was driving us homeward bound when he was giving me a sermon when,



DAD: ang mahal mahal ng tuition mo, ang gastos gastos mo pa, bumili ka pa ng recipe book na pagkamahal mahal, 'di mo naman ginagamit!? (He's really upset here,you know)

*I can remember buying a recipe book, becuase during those times, I wanted to learn cooking, the book costs around 60php.

ME: Eh mura lang naman 'yung book, 60php lang yun.

DAD: Anong 60pesos!? 'Yung 700 pesos na book?! 'Di mo naman nagagamit!?

ME: Alin? 'Yung Chicken Soup?

DAD: OO!? Ang mahal mahal nun di ka naman natututong magluto?!

ME: ...




When we were younger (elementary days younger) there are times when dad will get so mad of all of us getting in trouble, we’ll have this “family meeting,” me, my older sister, eldest brother and mom will gather all our list of naughty, bad and wrong doings and that’s the time we’ll either get spanked or just a long sermon, depends on the gravity of the mistake. One night,

DAD: Nagpapaka hirap akong pag aralin kayo, para naman wala kayong natututunan… Para kayong di tinuturuan ng Good Conduct and Right Manners!?

*Seriously, even mom who was red mad laughed her heart out, my sister who was also mad with my older brother need to keep herself standing and hold to him since they were really laughing out hard.


Other than those top three, we still have our mini moments and "awwww" moments with dad.

Right now, we're better, (and kinda closer) that I'm not living there anymore, that we were able to buy our own place, that I was able to provide for myself, or is it because I have a gorgeous husband they think is just my buddy buddy?

*wink

Series of Unfortunate Events;on a Weekend

I don’t know if it was due to the stressful Saturday morning of me arranging the training I’ll be holding for my team, or just the lack of sleep the day before, but the weekend just passed really was a total epic fail (and now, included were today’s series of unfortunate events).

I went to the gym to work out and was able to work out more than my usual routine. I was really happy since the “pan de sal” is starting to show, so happy, I took some pictures! I created a theme, geeky hunk (I was wearing glasses while taking the pictures), but I can’t post the pictures, tell you later why. I then met husband after that and decided to eat lunch. We were talking and suddenly, he had a mental block which made me red mad; he forgot where we celebrated/ate after our blessing last year.

We, or rather, I was trying to cool down so we went to Timezone since they were offering 100php for 50php only! So we killed time at this new game (Egyptian themed shooting game) WE took pictures however, I won’t be able to post it here, I’ll tell you why; later.

We then watched The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, I didn’t enjoy the movie that much, and husband loved it, we went out and was surprised to see that it was raining hard. Riding the MRT, I first checked my pockets if everything is complete; wallet-check, sun phone-check, globe phone-check, coin purse-check, Zoden-check. So we squeezed our way in and checked my things again, this time, I just told him “SUN ko” (my sun). Husband thought that I still have my sun, so he was calm, but I reiterated that I “lost” my sun, he kinda panicked. I told him to calm down since we’re inside the MRT. I checked my other pockets and it seems that “snatcher” doesn’t have enough money to go home; he included my coin purse.

I then sent an sms to Migs that I won’t be able to attend his party, I really felt bad, I wanted to go but due to the circumstances of what happened, I don’t think I’ll be able to go, all my energy level went down because of that. I just slept it off and woke up early the next day for my dad’s birthday celebration.

Sunday morning, I snuggled husband to go with me and eat breakfast at KFC at Buendia before I ride the bus to Laguna, add up to the misfortunate events; we ended up fighting and so I waited for him to finish his food, and me, hungry like a gay bear, just went to the bus and experienced the excruciating hunger, not being able to sleep, and feeling very cold and down. After I arrived, good thing my beloved (future) sister in law was there to give me a very bright welcome hug and an enlightening beso. She decided to go with me to church Sunday morning, and after the mass, we went to our local town mall since mom asked us to buy some groceries and I ended up buying ice cream too!We then went to Sun shop to block the number(since mine was on postpaid) and apparently, some stupid agent created another account under my name, and when they pulled up the phone number information, it was still under my dad’s name, plus, who created the rule that nobody else except the owner can call in and block the number… Seriously, it was just a request to block the number!? How can I call them since I don’t have a phone!? I don’t want to argue with them anymore, so they blocked it and I told them that I’ll just be requesting a new SIM once I have a new phone. This is a sign for me to buy a new phone, and that is why I won’t be able to share the pictures I took. We went home, enjoyed dad’s birthday party, went back to Manila with brother and future sister in law, and they visited our new place.
They were happy to see husband and the new place too!

It was quite early, so I still have time to catch the MCC mass as well. On my way there, my rubber shoes soles were already tearing down so I decided to go down at SM Savemore near Mantrade MRT Station to buy some sandals. After I went down to Evangelista, a lady told me I dropped something; my sandals. I went back and good thing I found it nearly taken by someone else. Glad I reached the church safe and sound. After the mass, they feast on the macaroni salad and pansit palabok I brought them, and they were all happy, though, I’m particularly happy since I saw my favorite lesbian couple Sam and Crissy were there! They’re both equally cute, beautiful, goddess-muse like kind of beautiful! We all went home and this, time I was happy that the weekend just ended.

Or so I thought…

On my first day at work, I thought I already got used to receiving escalation; apparently not. There are times when you just feel THE stress, I ended up with a very stressful day, good thing I was meeting husband for breakfast. We went home and slept. Tuesday, another escalation, plus the room I reserved for the training I am conducting was also reserved for training. I was so upset that I just conducted the training using one of my colleague’s computer. I ate my lunch and now, I’m too tired and stressed to give my 100% energy to work.

I’ll just have to mantra this out…

WuuuSsaa!!!! Happy Thoughts… Happy Thoughts… Happy Thoughts…

Just thinking aloud; me as a "crossdresser"

I just realized a couple of weeks ago.

I can still remember "declining" my friends from MCC to “crossdress” for our annual anniversary. I’m really not comfortable wearing a gown or other ladies or girl clothes, and I believed (Wow! Parang pang Mr. Gay Pageant!) that being gay doesn’t mean that "we" want to become a girl/female; as I further explained to some of my colleagues, being gay (also) means you have certain feelings towards the same sex, without wanting to be the opposite sex. I still want to be a guy, its just; I want guys.

So, wearing girly girl clothes is a no-no for me; that was what I thought.

I was searching for some favorite shirts in my closet and found it; a small sized white shirt with the word “Angel” and a heart design, plus a picture of a guy sitting down with some “emo” writings on it. If I wear it, it becomes a bit of a muscle shirt, since it fits me “perfectly,” and it struck me. I remember declining several times with my friends and old housemates, and I just realized that I’ve been “crossdressing” since 2008ish.

*Picture at that old glorietta gone to dust. I miss that place.

Here’s a picture of my former partner when we bought a shirt with the same design; the salesladies were surprised that we were able to wear it. (*One of my kikoy rule in a relationship is to have a shirt with my then partners with the same design.)

*Taken last December 2010; Christmas party.

Then the same store released a series of white shirts with nifty designs, and they’re selling those for 99php for girls and 150 for guys. I actually tried one and it fits! However, there were a couple of angles when you look at me, that makes me looks gay, but hell, I am one! What differ was I still I “act” manly; achooo! Hehehehe…

Come to think of it, being "slim" is not all that bad, we get to buy "cheaper" lady or girl clothes which is about 50% cheaper than the usual guy shirts you see around

Nothing, just sharing some thoughts.