Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Fluid

I told myself I’ll be blogging more and since it was quite busy during the past few days of the new year in the office, I’ll start with this.

I don’t know if everyone of you got a hold of the news when I posted in my social netowriking sites that I’m officially single. (Gasp! Large huge widened eyes, some will cover their mouth, some will go omgee, I get it.) yep, Husband decided to call it quits, and next will be the question why. It’s a little more complicated that that and I don’t want to complicate things here but you know what; the good thing is we’re both fine. We’re still living together, we’re still texting, I’m still texting his mom and his mom still keeps on texting me and I still got my Christmas gift from her too! A quick history on what happened though, after we celebrated our 3 day celebration for our 3 year anniversary last December 16-18, he then talked to me Monday after we ate dinner at Mang Inasal. That’s what I love about him, honest frank no beating around the bush. I actually thought he was joking and I told him if it wasn’t a joke that no I won’t agree to it. Thursday came and he went with me to my cousin’s wedding as I also invited his mom (practicing photography)to go with us. On the bus, I missed the times I keep on making him laugh with my funny antics; I still have the power to so I’m still good, I can’t stop not holding his hands but he keeps on shoving it away; of course, he can’t resist my pa-cute effect so he gave in. Everyone thought things were normal. Then weekend came and I was still asking HIM for a sign and he did gave me one; HE somewhat talked to me so I decided to give husband’s freedom.

"Yawn-eeeng"

oh yeah!! I can still make you smile!!!

Jeff's beautiful mom and his beautiful A/X bag. lol
A week ago before New year, he still don’t know what to give tita(his mom) and lolo for their gifts and we were texting, and it felt fine. No feelings of anger or anything, I asked him, we’re good right? Yep we’re good. He answered back. That’s what I was thinking and thanking God for; being fluid about things. A friend of mine told me once, “I hope people would live and think fluidly; no judgments, no assumptions, and no condemnation.” I would agree wit what he said if I knew what he was talking about, and then he added “I have lesbian friends that eventually got married to guys and married men who eventually turned out to be gay and the people around them accepted with who they are.” I remembered a famous lesbian in UPLB who got married to a guy and I was surprised to see her with a baby already. People know that we know each other and that time they asked me, wasn’t she a lesbian? I didn’t have an answer that time. Now I understand about people just being fluid about these things.

People were all saddened with what happened to us and I can’t blame them; we can’t throw away 3 years of love; but just like energy Love is just there, either transferred or changed. We still love each other, we just chose not THAT way, when people break up and still stays as friends; that’s love changing, if they fell in love with another one after that’s love being transferred, if they hate each other still the same; because when you get mad or angry at someone; that means you still have love for them; because you still care, because you still feel angry, you still feel emotions. I'll leave you something that was left to us by our Reverend Ken Martin from MCC Main that keeps us humbled; Romans 13:8 tells us "...for whoever loved others has already fulfilled the law."

I assured everyone that right now, husband and I aren’t husband-housebands anymore but both of us were honest enough to admit that we love each other; though not just the same way as before. Just a brand new way and we’re both happy with that. Fluid. I talked to him last Monday and asked if we’re still gonna push through with the Amazing Race Philippines; he said yes.


From this...



to this....



10 comments:

  1. "We can't be alone. As much as it pains us to be together, we can't be alone."
    - David Foster Wallace

    In the end, it's all a matter of perspective. The only real constant is change, and in the flux that coagulates, we have to remain fluid, taoist, and flowing to where the universe leads us to.

    I'm glad that you and your ex are mature enough to handle it so well. It's never easy, break-up's always tend to lead to separation of everything, even friends. Never mind the grief, and the sense of failure and loss from the 3 years you two spent together.

    Be well.

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  2. @red the mod...
    Awww... thanks for the words of wisdom!! Really made me smile...

    BTW, congrats for being the 1st commenter of year 2012 for my first blog entry! Hehehehe

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  3. From the moment I knew your blog, I know it would be an interesting one. One that would finally wake up my senses and tell me that yes, gay commitments are sacred just like any other relationships.

    But after reading this one I also told myself that yes, gay commitments are just like any other relationships too - one that ends.

    And yet we will seek again...

    Aren't we, Von Draye? ;)

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  4. Replies
    1. uhm, may bago na syang bf eh. so yeah, its a no.... ehehehe

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    2. un po bang lawyer from court of appeals?
      kau na po ba ni jess?

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  5. @anonymous, i honestly dont know. ask mo sya.ehehehe

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  6. Post my comment cheater! haha. takot ka siguro malaman nang mga reader mo na ikaw dahilan nang break up nyo? hahaha. poor you. asking sympathy but you are full of guilt.

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    Replies
    1. @Anonymous Monday, August 20, 2012 01:55

      Actually, the reason why I didn't post your other one is because it has R-18 statements. Just make sure its not R-18 and I'd be glad to post it... Deal? God bless!

      Delete