Blogging something

When I was in college and started my blog, thanks to Sheenah for encouraging me to open one, I have been blogging about events of my daily activities and recently what’s been happening or what’s new that time. When I opened this second blog of mine, I’ve been wanting to blog life lessons, share inspirational stories, and something that would help anyone read my entry, smile, think about it and create an impact that it’d create a better world; gay world that is. Oh yes, ala Miss Universe!

However, everytime that moment comes, I’m on an unusual place, unusual time, and think “Oh, I’ll be blogging this,” and poof, it’s gone.

Anyway, right now, (blogging) it’s more of a brain work out for me especially for my writing and grammar, since I’m not blessed with a gift in the communication aspect. My colleague who is also a geek (but cooler than me) agreed that the reason why I’m having trouble with English is because I’m more gifted (*grins*) with Math, and creativity because I’m left handed. I read about this in “Left Handers Guide to Life” a book about (and for) Left Handed people. (On the naughty side; I'm ambidextrous when it comes to "that.")

Another battle I’m fighting is my struggle against procrastination. While cramming helps me to pressure myself squeezing out my creative juices and end up in good results. However, cramming vs. procrastination, I’m losing to procrastination especially now during my masters. I already have 3 incomplete subjects; one subject from summer last year, and two last semester, all due to procrastination. My bestfriend was willing to help me out with my report, but whenever we’ll start to do my report, we end up talking for the rest of the day.

Insecurities is one of those I call silent killer. I tend to feel and show confidence, but deep inside, I feel insecure, especially in large gatherings and social parties involving gay guys. I don’t know why I feel “small” whenever I’m around them, and when they project, I feel smaller, that’s why I’m more of a coffee shop or home person.

My contradictive persona is one of my predicament. I tend to debate with myself with almost all things. If I get asked a question, I answer back ALWAYS with it depends, then, I’ll debate myself with the yes and no answer. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m a Libra, or just because I have an open mind about everything.

Anyways, these battle are ongoing since I was a kid, and became worse in college and just enjoying life's little bitches now. How about you guys?