My small world.

Life is full of ironies, coincidences and all that weird stuff, but one of the things that makes my life interesting (besides all the deja vu I encounter almost everyday), is my "it's a small world" moments.

Small World case #1

Back in 2005, I was a die hard fan of Brent javier, my die hard fan moment was it was our photoshoot for our youth-org in Laguna, and our homebase was in Magdalena, Laguna, it's 15 minutes away from Liliw, Laguna, almost 3 hours away from Manila and I went to Megamall that day just to attend his "meet and greet" courtesy of Watsons. I also intend to meet my friend who was also a brent javier fan that day. So we did, took a picture, and was happy and GAY! haha! I was also active in yahoo groups dedicated for his fans.

Fast Forward.

I am now working with a financial company and in our office, teams and schedule change quarterly. I then was able to team up with this gal whose known for having celebrities for friends, and was an agent of basketball players before. One random day, she stood up and asked me if I'm a member of a yahoo group. I told her before I was active but right now its more on personal yahoo groups(my youth org, and school use). She sat down and that's when it dawned at me, I remembered the name that keeps on replying to the fans/members of brentfans yahoo groups; hers.She was Brent's manager. From then on, we became close and was able to meet some of her other celebrity friends., but not Brent, she's not managing him anymore.

*picture with the idol, and yes, it was a film camera, explaining the bad shot.

Small world case # 2

I'm not a party animal, Im more of a home buddy. I'd rather watch tv, dvd, play games in my pc, rather than go to bars. My ex-housemates would blackmail me to go to one when they go out. It was my 2nd visit to a prominent bar in Makati, this goes way back 2007, and as usual, my insecurities heightened as these cute guys dance and lurk around. Im so not used to cute guys around me. Then, there's this cute Lil boy toy who asked a common friend for us to be introduced. I thought "familiar name." Being the "Dory" (read:short term memory loss) that I am, I just let it pass, I know I've heard/read it somewhere but what the hell. He was really cute! I can't stop smiling just by talking and looking at him! He then invited me to go upstairs to talk. We got into the usual get to know each other kind of conversation. I admired him for being a writer and a UP student, and our conversation went on further and I found out who he was; my eyes widened. shit.

Backflash

One of the perks of the original guys4men site was the forum. Books, music, sex, travel, etc, almost everything was there, in the book section, I found my group of readers. I'm a light reader and whatever is famous and known to everyone; I read. When I saw that there were lots of gay guys reading the book Orosa Nakpil Malate, I bought one and read it.

Flash forward.

I was talking to louie mar. Louie Mar Gangcuangco.

*do I need to explain further?

Small world moment #3

When I was still in high school, I'm already fond of taking pictures, that's to answer my short term memory loss. I tend to forget lots of things, so I get to keep the memories; with pictures. During my college days, I was lucky to be selected to represent our school for Tambayan-on-Air; a radio program dedicated for the youth where members are composed of SK from all over Laguna, and students from different schools. We had our training in one of the resorts owned by our governor that time. During those times, I had a crush with one of the trainers, a student DevComm student from UPLB let's call him Riggs. He has this curly short hair, boy toy look, and always has a smile in his face.

Fast Forward.

When I started working here in Makati City, a friend of mine helped me out getting a bed space in one of the boarding houses here in the metro. He already told me that we're 6 in the room and 3 of them were old UP students; he didn't tell me "Riggs" was one of them. I was sooooo in heaven seeing him topless once in a while. Heee HEE!!

Small world moment #4

During my college days, I had a love affair, let's name him JELO(not his real name). Every now and then, I'd visit JELO in Sta. Rosa, Laguna where he lives. It was summer vacation so I was able to spend time with him. One fo his friends, Gibz, was honest enough to tell me that JELO, while were "dating" has a bf, I was devastated (the usual, crying over the phone, all and that), and like every gay guy that's been heartbroken, eat sleep and next day, move on.

FAST FOWARD.

I was the only lucky (gay)guy in our class to have my internship with Summit Media, under Men's Health Magazine. One of the perks I enjoyed was my first ever photoshoot, and my first will be forever a memorable one. I was able to meet the stylist John, and was actually surpised he's almost as young as me. We talked about things, and when he asked where I came from, I told him I'm from Laguna, he told me his partner during that time was also from Laguna, and yes, you guessed it right; JELO.

Small note on my Small World; The make up artist, SABS(lady beside me), is Champ Lui-Pio's close friend, lead vocalist of the band HALE. They just finished their interview from an MTV show that I forgot.

*My first photoshoot at Men's Health.

Thinking aloud

Life indeed is a "small world," it may hurt, it may be a reason to smile, it may surprise you but these are the little things that makes our life interestingly... SMALL. I believe GOD created these small world moments just to make us smile, because the best way to make us smile is when we're caught off guard, when we're not aware, and the least we expect it. I wonder what's your small world moment...

What if my body can talk to me?

“He/it slept the whole day sat night,sunday and monday, at ngayon inaantok pa din
siya?!Naman!(and now, he/it’s still sleepy! My gosh!)”

NOTE: He/It pertains to my body.

Okay, I can probably ask for an apology from him/it, let’s name my body; “Body.”

Okay, I admit I haven’t been good to Body since my college days, making him stay up late,
and lack sleep, and make him eat unhealthy food. When I was in my 3rd and 4th year, I told
myself I’ll be living a healthier life during my working days since I have the money to make him
eat healthy food. Right now, my diet is not perfect, but at least he’s eating healthier than
before.

However, this semester, I never expected that I’ll be stressed out than ever. I was able to go to
school before and be awake for 24 hours. Now, I pushed my limit and Thursday night, I have
my shift until Friday morning, Friday morning, after my “dinner,” I then finished my report for
my Saturday class. That’s up until Friday in the afternoon, and then prepare for my Friday shift. My Friday shift ends at 6am and then, I rush to PUP-Graduate School, in Sta. Mesa for my class; 3 subjects for the day. First class- information and Communication Technology, reporting. Second subject- lecture and exam. Third subject- lecture. After that, my classmates and I went to Cubao since I need to buy a cake for Jeff’s mom at bread Talk, then, MRT travel to Makati, and ride the bus in Buendia en route to San Pablo City, Laguna. That’s non stop.

How was I able to survive this? Enervon Ion, revicon Max, and tons of coffee! Oh, not to
mention, drinking lots of water to keep you hydrated, eating more in smaller intervals, and lots of shaking of heads. In addition to that, my professor, a head of the Arts and Culture and Theatre thingie, have this thing where good looking high school/college guys visit him every now and then; it helped too.

When I arrived at their place, I was dead hungry, tired and haggard! I ate like there’s no tomorrow and didn’t get the chance to remove my pants and slept while my bf carried me and arranged me to bed. I woke up around 9am and went down for breakfast, it was heaven! I really like Tita Madel’s home cooking since you can feel the love and care in her cooking. Sunday afternoon, we went back to Makati and we thought that the 2 hour travel will enable our body to rest and at least let us attend the evening mass; or so we thought. When we reached our humble abode, we were dead sleepy. LITERALLY changed our clothes, washed our face and slept dead!

As I am typing this entry, I just regained my strength since half of the shift I was sleepy and was sleeping in “vacant” times. I was talking to my friend and we were wondering, what if my body can talk to me and say what they feel. She said this is what Body will tell me.
“ABUSADO KA KUYA! Lol “

Yeah, I guess I’ve abused my body too much; big time. Have I told you I’ve already done this 3
times already? Yes, 3 Thursdays to Saturdays awake, that’s why I think Body is currently upset.

I just hope after my masters I can make it up to him since I’m still working out and will be
going back to yoga this summer.

Can I say sorry?

Pwede naman mag sorry di ba? (I can say sorry right?)

icebag/elbi pie quotes

*Credit goes to our very own, LB owned Ma'am Layeta "Lalie" Bucoy for her great ICEBAG series.
grabbed from http://entrelanoche.multiply.com/

Next year is the 10th year of that series which i'd like to think still tries to capture facets of a uplb student's life ... i've seen several posts on the net quoting certain lines from the plays, the teasers, and even the greetings ... since most of them came from me, i've listed those i could recall ... as to those already buried in oblivion, feel free to resurrect them (even those i deliberately buried) ... With ngayon o bukas for background music, here goes my journey to a decade of aaaw inducing lines:

1. "eto, ibigay mo sa kanya. mahilig s'ya d'yan. h'wag kang magulat. marunong din akong magmahal."

2. "mamili ka: malinis kang bumagsak o marumi kang pumasa."

3. "ayaw mo sa bakla, tanggap ko ‘yon. Gusto mong mamundok, Go! Gawin mo ang gusto mo, iwasan mo ako hangga’t gusto mo, pero hindi mo mapipigilang mahalin kita."

4. "May ipagagawa ka pa ba sa akin para sukatin ang pagmamahal ko sa ‘yo?"

5. "Haller!? Ako ba naiintindihan mo! Ngayon lang may nagmahal sa akin, ngayon lang may nakikinig sa akin. Alam mo ba kung ga’no katagal kong pinagdarasal na dumating ka sa buhay ko?"

6. "Maraming mukha ang pag-ibig. Ito ang pinili ko. Ibibigay ang lahat-lahat."

7. "Dito, sa ibang lugar, napakawalan ko na ang tanging nagmahal sa akin."

8. "Sana h’wag mo sa akin ibigay ang lahat. Magtira ka ng konti para sa sarili mo. Sa gitna ng mga tunggalian, maganda pa rin ang buhay, hangga’t may pag-ibig, sa anumang mukha nito, sa anumang kulay, sa pinakamarahas mang kahulugan nito."

9. "I was sitting beside you in STS, you never looked at me. I was sitting beside you in NASCI2, you never glanced at me. I was sitting beside you in Math 11, you never noticed me. Now, I’m here, sitting beside you, as we are about to watch the play. The teasers say this is about love. You would have known love. If only you looked beside you."

10. "Sapagkat kaming lahat sa dula ay umibig at nadapa, walang takot kaming babangon upang umibig muli at ibahagi sa inyo ang tamis, ang pait, ang anghang at ang alat ng pag-ibig."

11. "Habang basa ang katawan n’ya ng nagsanib na pawis, hamog at ambon, at basa ang mukha n’ya ng mga luhang ayaw n’ya sanang tumulo, nadama kong kailangan n’ya ng mapag-along kamay, nadama kong kailangan n’ya ng mainit na dibdib. Noon ko s’ya unang minahal."

12. "Hindi na s’ya naalis sa aking isipan. Tumakas ako mula sa piitan ng aking pagka-diyosa. Bumaba ako mula sa aking kabundukan. Sinundan ko s’ya sa Lecture Hall A ng BioSci. Nagpanggap akong estudyante n’ya. Nilapitan n’ya ako. “Ang haba ng buhok natin, ha?” ang sabi n’ya. Ngumiti ako at nagwikang, “Darating ang araw, tayong dalawa, magsasama hanggang sa pagwawakas ng panahon.” Simula no’n, iniwasan na n’ya ako."

13. "Marahil, kahit panawan man ng katinuan, hindi pa rin nakakalimot ang pag-ibig."

14. "Sapagkat ang pag-ibig ay hindi nakakalimot. Walang pag-ibig ang nabubura sa alaala."

15."Babae: H’wag mo akong bilangan ng oras. ComArts ako. Galit ako sa numero. Lalake: Mahal ko ang mga numero. Babae: D’yan ka lang magaling. Sa numero. Lalake: AMath ako. Babae: Syotain mo ang mga numero mo."

16. "Marami na akong pinalampas, marami na akong sinubukan, ngayong natagpuan na kita, ikaw lang ang gusto kong yakapin."

17. "Bagay sa inyo ang de lata. Kulungang lata n’yo ang isa’t isa."

18. "Ok lang kahit marami akong kahati sis, basta mahalin din lang n’ya ako"

19. "Sabi ng mga brods ko, kung ang cellphone daw ay pabago-bago ng modelo, ikaw naman daw pabago-bago ng isip. Mahirap ka raw pakisamahan. Mahirap ka raw mahalin. Pero kung may kailangan ka, sabihan mo lang ako. Kung nalulungkot ka, tawagin mo lang ako. Handa kitang samahan sa lahat ng pagbabago mo, maghirap man ako."

20. "Lalake: (Uupo, kakain) Tapusin na natin ‘to. Babae: Ang pagkain o ang relasyon? Lalake: Pareho.

21. "Inibig kita at inibig mo ako. Noon. Iba na ngayon.

22. "Thea: Bukas muli. Irvine: Alam kong babalik ka. Thea: Hindi ako babalik, Irvine. Hindi bumabalik ang hindi nakaalis. Irvine: H’wag mong ipako ang sarili mo sa pagmamahalan natin. Marami pang iba. Subukan mong umibig sa iba. Thea: Isa lang ang puso ko. Naibigay ko na sa ‘yo."

23. "Ayusin mo ‘yang mukha mo. Ayusin mo ‘yang buhay mo. Hindi dapat pinag-aaksayahan ng luha at lalo na ng buhay ang isang lalakeng ayaw naman sa ‘yo at wala namang pakialam sa luha at buhay mo. LAlake lang s’ya, maraming lalake."

24. "Nagsasawa rin ang pagmamahal. sawa na ako sa 'yo"

25. "Di tulad ni darna, di mo na kailangan ng bato. umibig ka lang, lulutang ka." edited: "hindi mo na kailangang lumunok ng bato para lumipad...umibig ka lang ... pustahan tayo lulutang ka" (limot ko na talaga hahaha)

26. "Ganyan ang banga, nakatayo o nakabaligtad man, handang manilbihan. Parang ako, walang pinipiling pwesto. Parang pag-ibig ko, walang pinipiling kondisyon."

27. "Then be my prince charming. Give me my happy ending

28. "Lahi kayo ng mga sugarol. At sabi mo, ang pag-ibig ay sugal."

29. "Ang pag-ibig ay para lamang sa matatapang."

30. "Punta na akong Baker. Aayusin ko pa ang rebound ko. Siguro mas magaling akong magrebound ngayon. Sinanay mo na ako. Ginawa mo na akong rebound."

31. "Napaunawa ko na sa ‘yo ang sarap at ligaya ng pag-ibig. Iisa na lamang ang natitira pang maaari kong ipaunawa sa ‘yo. Ipapaunawa ko sa ‘yo ang kung paanong masaktan."

32. "BL: Tingnan mo ang spaghetti, buhol-buhol ang mga noodles, mapula ang kulay, parang dugo. Ganyan sa pag-ibig, buhol-buhol ang mga buhay, madugo dahil maraming dalang pasakit. Pero tinikman mo, masarap, kadalasan parang ayaw mo nang tigilan. Tikman mo ang spaghetti. MB: Ikaw ang may paborito sa spaghetti. BL: Hanapin mo ako, kung handa mo nang tikman ang spaghetti. "

33. "Parang pagsalo lang sa tinapong bola. Saluhin mo rin ako, takot na akong magpagulong-gulong sa kalungkutan."

34. "Naghanap pa s'ya ng iba, nandito naman ako, 24 hours available, parang mercury drug."

35. "Ikaw na dahilan ng lahat ng luhang sinalo ng aking unan, ikaw pa rin ang alaalang kukumot sa akin, sa mga gabing malamig ang pag-iisa" PAHABOL

36. "Sisisirin ko ang impiyerno, makikipagbuno ako sa mga diyablo, upang sa huli, perlas kang aking hahanguin"

37. Noon, mahal kita. ngayon, mahal na mahal kita.' PAHABOL ULI 38. "Iced tea dapat 'yan pero di ko pinalagyan ng yelo. dapat sa 'yo mainit. masyado nang malamig ang puso mo."

39. "Nirequire kaming manood ng romeo and juliet. akala ko, makikilala ko na rin ang pag-ibig. pero wala akong naramdaman. wala ka sa tabi ko."

40. "Kahit ano'ng gawin ng taong mahal ka, walang panama sa sandaling matingnan ka lang ng taong mahal mo."

41. "Ito ang sandaling lagi kong babalik-balikan."

43. "I think that i shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree, and the turtle said snap, snap, not yet rizal, not yet, london bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down, jack en jill went up the hill, falling down, falling down, alagang-alaga namin si puti, bakang mataba, bakang maputi, bigyan mo ng tubig, inom, inom, inom, bigyan mo ng damo, nguya, nguya, nguya, the road less traveled by 'ronald prost' "

44. "Hindi nagtatapos ang pag-ibig sa kamatayan, tulad ng kaluluwa, patuloy itong mabubuhay, lumilipad dahil hindi nakukulong sa katawan"

45. "Wala sa mga tinginan ang pag-ibig, wala sa mga luha, wala sa mga pantasya. ang pag-ibig ay nasa hawakan ng kamay, haplusan ng balat, halikan ng labi"

46. "Pinagtitiisan kong makinig sa mga kwento mo tungkol sa sorority n'yo at sa pagpapacute mo kay Boy C dahil gusto kong inaamoy ang hininga mo" (lekat, pathetic! wahaha)

47. "Gene: 'Yan ba ang gusto mo Mackie?
Mackie: 'Yan ang gusto ko sa isang babae.
Gene: E sa isang bakla, ano ang gusto mo?
Mackie: Hindi ako bakla.
Gene: Don't you want to try? "

48. "I know love. I know how to love. I will love!"

49. "Babalik at babalik din ako sa 'yo"

50. "Why don't we make it a lifetime?
why don't we make it forever?" (ahaha mushy kung mushy!)

51. "Mahilig ka talaga sa malamig.
bakit ikaw, hindi ka ba mahilig sa malamig?
mahilig din, pero mas mahilig ako sa mainit,lalo na 'yung mainit na lumalamig dahil napapabayaan "

52. "Magkikita pa tayo, paulit-ulit mo man akong tanggihan, paulit-ulit mo man akong iwan, sa huli, mahal pa rin kita"

53. "Hindi dahil makabayan ka, magiging manhid ka na.
hindi dahil nagbirthday ka, magiging sentimental ka na. (koneksyon?! wahaha)

54. "Hahabulin mo pa rin ba s'ya hanggang sa bundok?
hihintayin ko na lang s'ya rito, nakakapagod din ang humabol.
napapagod na rin ako.

55. "Wala na akong mahalungkat sa unit, wala ka nang ibang gamit. di ko malaman kung saan pa ako maghahanap ng pag-ibig"

56. "Hindi pa ako nag-be-breakfast, lunch at dinner kakasunod sa 'yo. pag-ibig man, nagugutom din." (natawa talaga ako rito)

57. "Ito ang tunay na pag-ibig, gumagapang sa balat, tumatagos sa laman"

58. "Wala lang. gusto lang kitang makita. hindi kita nakita last week ,e. pero natanggap ko 'yung a la mode. the best a la mode in this side of paradise. ang tamis-tamis. ang sarap-sarap. galing sa 'yo."

59. "Mahirap magasgas ang kaha ng ref., mahirap magkalamat. parang sa tao, 'pag nagasgasan ang puso, nagkakalamat ang damdamin, sisingaw ang galit, mapapawi ang pag-ibig"

60. "Hayaan mong ako na lang ang magkasala. ganyan kita kamahal."

61. "In your case, i'd rather die than rot with you"

62. "Ngayon, ang alam ko lang, handa na akong hamakin ang mga bituin"

63. "H'wag ka nang magpasalamat sa tatlong diskette.napasaya mo na rin naman ako. patas na tayo."

64. "Dahil sa 'yo, marami akong nakilalang emosyon"

65. "Ibaba mo naman ang ulo mo, lumingon ka naman sa kanan mo, baka sakali, makita mo ako at ang pag-ibig ko"

66. "Lahat ng bago pinatos ko, pero bumabalik ang isipan ko sa luma, bumabalik sa 'yo"

67. "Kung ang mabigat na banga di ko kayang bitawan, ang pag-ibig pa kaya?"

68. "Rapist ka ba?"

69. "Lalake: Naiisip mo ba ang naiisip ko?
Babae: Di na maibabalik ang mga panahong nagdaan.
Lalake: At ang panahon pang natitira? "

70. Babae: Handa ka na ba?
Lalake: Nakatayo o nakahiga?
Babae: Nakatayo. Nakatingin sa isa’t isa.
Lalake: Para sa buong panahong hindi natin tiningnan ang isa’t isa.

71. "Sige, gawin mo akong tanglaw, tulad ng mga gabing ikaw ang tala sa aking kalangitan"

72. Junel: Sana pala hindi na tayo umorder.
Diana: Nagmamadali ka?
Junel: Sayang ang panahon.
Diana: Lagi ka na lang nagmamadali.
Junel: Lagi akong nahuhuli.
Diana: Ako ang late. Nag-make up class pa kasi ako.
Junel: Lagi akong nahuhuli.
Diana: Ako nga ang –
Junel: Pagdating sa ‘yo.


73. Kiko: Sana hindi ka mabulag sa liit ng mga letra at kapal ng nobelang ito.
Rand: Ano ba ako sa ‘yo.
Kiko: Ang nobelang gusto ko nang sarhan.

74. "Alam mo ba kung bakit ayoko sa kapeng walang asukal? ayoko sa mapait, parang alaala"

75. "Mas malapit tayo sa isa't isa nu'ng magkalayo tayo"

76. "Pwede ka uling magsign-in sa buhay ko"

77. "Food lang ang nagcocomfort sa akin"

78. "umibig ka na ba?
madalas
and?
wala na silang lahat "

79. "'Pag pinaubaya mo sa iba ang kaligayahan mo, sa tingin mo ba mababawi mo agad 'yon?"

80. "ano ba'ng sikerto ng happiness?
h'wag mong ipahawak sa iba "

81. "Gaya ng pag-inom ko ng kapeng sumisira sa puso ko, h’wag mong bawasan o tigilan ang pagmamahal mo sa kanya, sirain man n’ya ang puso mo.”

82. "Ako ba ang may dala ng bagyo sa buhay mo?"

83. "Maging ang bisig ay napapagod din sa pagyakap"

84. “Tingnan mo ang mga piraso ng paso, buuin mo man, may lamat na. ‘Yan ang ginawa mo sa akin.”

85. "Minahal. Tandaan mo sana. Minahal. Tapos na ‘yon.”

86. "Ang naiintindihan ko lang, gusto kong lumigaya ka.”

87. "Nakabantay ako sa 'yo, hinihintay na makalimot ka"


88."Sa ‘yo lang ako magpapahuli, magpapakulong, hawla ko ang iyong puso, bawat tibok nito ang aking hininga. Pagkat ako ay ibong naghahanap ng pugad, at ikaw ang punong nais maging kaulayaw. "

89. Kaya lumuluha muli ako, walang-patid, habang nagmumumog.

90. . Pero di bale, di baleng 300 pesos a month na lang ang load ko at nang-aagaw na ako ng mga celfones ng mga kakilala ko para lang maitext s’ya, di baleng sa ukay-ukay na lang ako bumibili ng mga damit, di baleng naliligo na ng kiwi ang sapatos ko dahil nagiging mestizo na sila’t kailangan ko silang panatilihing baluga, di baleng naputulan na ako ng internet, telepono, tubig, kuryente at buhok dahil di ko na rin maafford ang shampoo and conditioner. Basta’t kasama ko lang si Joe.

91. Hindi mo alam, buo ang katawan ko, hindi lang ako pwet, hindi lang ako bunganga.

92. para sa bente pesos, para na rin akong sirkera.

93. Hindi man ako sumama sa iyong libingan, kasama ka sa aking bawat paghinga.

94. From 0919*******. Minsan ang pagkakaibigan parang hawak na buhangin, di mo napapansin nauubos din pala. Sa dami nga naman ng buhangin sa paligid mo, mapapansin mo kaya kung mawawala ako sa pagkakahawak mo?

95. Diana: Itanim mo na lang sa paso.
Semi: Magpupumilit kumawala sa paso ang mga ugat ng Doña Luz .
Diana: Hindi s’ya makakawala.
Semi: Babasagin n’ya ang paso.
Diana: Hindi mababasag ang paso.
Semi: Kaya n’yang basagin ang paso.
Diana: At ‘pag gumapang na s’ya?
Semi: Babantayan ko, aalagaan, aalalayan. Mamahalin.

96. Hindi ako bakla. Lalake akong umiibig sa ‘yo.

97. Inumpog ko ng inumpog ang ulo n'ya sa kubeta. di na n'ya mamulat ang mga mata n'ya. "masaya ka na ba?" tanong n'ya. "hindi pa rin." at muli ko s'yang inumpog.

98. Nakita ni Mang Mar ang pagtataka sa aking mata. Bakit hindi man lang nagkakagulo ang mga tao? “Galit kasi sila sa kanya, e” sabi ni Mang Mar. Naawa ako sa kanya. Noon ko s’ya unang minahal.

99. Sinundan ko s’ya. Narinig ko ang sabi ng mga doktor. Kailangan n’ya raw ng bone marrow transplant upang mabuhay. Diyosa lang ako. Wala akong buto. Wala akong maitulong.

100. Bakit may katawang nakakaadik?

101. Sa gabi, kukumutan n’ya s'ya at papaypayan hanggang sa makatulog ito. Tatabihan n’ya ito at yayakapin. “Kung hindi mo man ako magawang mahalin kung gising tayo, siguro kahit man lang sa panaginip, mahalin mo ako,” ang ibubulong n'ya bago makatulog.

102. “Multo na ako,” sabi n'ya. “Sayang,” patuloy n’ya, “namatay na ako’t lahat, hindi mo pa rin ako nagawang mahalin.”

103. Magkadaiti ang mga labing sinalubong nila ang bukang-liwayway. Siguro, ang pag-ibig, kahit di hanapin, kahit di asamin, kusang dumarating, kusang sumisilay, tulad ng bukang-liwayway, kahit pa mahaba ang iyong tutsang.

104. Ang pipiliin mo’y hindi ang nais mong bigyan ng lahat-lahat, ang pipiliin mo’y ang magagawang ibigay sa ‘yo ang lahat-lahat, tulad ng isang utusan para sa kanyang hari.


105. Ilang tao ang nagkakaroon ng bagong pag-asa dahil sa akin.

106. Gusto mo lang bilangin ang mga buhok n’ya sa katawan, bawat balahibo, bawat kulot at tuwid, wala kang palalampasin. Hindi na mahalaga sa ‘yo kung mahalin ka man n’ya. Hindi na mahalaga sa ‘yo kung pansinin ka n’ya. Walang mahalaga sa ‘yo kundi ang bawat malalaman mong detalye sa kanyang katawan, ang bawat malalaman mong detalye sa kanyang buhay. Ganyan ako magmahal.

107. tinig pa lang n'ya napapayapa na ang puso mo

108. Dahil sa kanya pinalayas ka ng mga magulang mo. Dahil sa kanya hindi ka na nakagraduate. Dahil sa kanya kinailangan mong magtrabaho sa call center. Dahil sa kanya nangayayat ka, nagdusa, naghirap, nasaktan. Hindi mo s’ya magawang masisi. Dahil sa kanya, lumigaya ka, kahit saglit.

109. Walang gabing hindi ka n’ya binubugbog. Walang araw na wala kang pasa. Walang bahagi ng katawan mong walang latay galing sa kanyang sinturon. Mata mo na lang ang hindi dumurugo. Pero hindi ka pa rin bumibitiw sa kanya. Handa kang magtiis. Sa hirap at ginhawa. Sa sakit at kalusugan. Hanggang sa kamatayan.

110. Nakikita ko kayo kahit hindi n’yo ako nakikita. Pinagmamasdan ko ang bawat galaw n’yo, alam ko ang bawat ikilos n’yo. Nagmamasid ako kahit hindi n’yo ako pinagmamasdan. Nakaantabay, nakaalalay, tama na sa akin ang makita ko kayo kahit matagal n’yo na akong kinalimutan. Hindi ba, ako ang tunay na pag-ibig?

111. Humihingi nga ng kiss, ‘yun ba ang galit?

112. Ang dami kong kasinungalingan. Parang napakamakasarili ko na. Nakakakonsensya rin. Pero mas mahalaga ka sa konsensya ko.

113. Mahirap mahalin ang walang nagmamahal.

114. Kesa naman sa naging sigurista nga s’ya, habang-buhay naman s’yang hindi liligaya kasi wala na s’yang gagawin kundi magplano at maghanda.

115. Bago rin lang ako sa ganitong klase ng relasyon pero ang alam ko, ang hindi hinahawakan, hinahagkan o niyayakap . . . pinandidirihan.

116. s'ya nga pala, may ibibigay ako sa 'yo. ang puso ko.

117. Wala akong dinedehado lalo na sa pag-ibig

118. Look, I’m rich, I’m intelligent and I’m beautiful. Obviously I’m perfect. Ang gusto ko lang naman ay ang makapantay ka sa akin. So if you can’t handle perfection, get lost!

119. ) Paulit-ulit kong sinasabing mahal kita. Gusto ko sana, ‘yun ang huling marinig mo. Gusto ko sana tinig ko ang dumuyan sa ‘yo patungong langit.

120. hindi ko kayang sabihing hindi na kita mahal. kung dumating man ang sandaling 'yon, tatahimik lang ako.

121. bakit ba kailangang magmukhang pathetic ka kakahabol sa kanya? bakit ba kailangang ipagduldulan mo ang sarili mo sa kanya? nandito ako. ako ang talagang nagmamahal sa 'yo.

122. i am magic personified.

123. habang lumalapit ako, lumalayo ka naman.

124. pinakiusapan nila akong h'wag ka na raw gambalain. hindi ako makakapayag. hindi napapakiusapan ang pag-ibig.

125. nangangailangang maramdaman ang init ng pagmamahal upang mapawi ang lamig ng mga gabing alaala lamang ang kayakap.

126. ibalibag mo sa kanya ang kahayupan mo.

127. Naiimagine ko na kung ano kayang pakiramdam ng mga labi mo sa balat ko.


128. I broke up with my girlfriend for I can’t get another girl out of my mind. I found another girl. I found you

129. Malay ko bang di lang hymen ko ang babasagin mo? Pati puso ko pala, di ko na tuloy mabuo ang mga bubog

130. Sa sobrang ‘pag shine ng armor mo, nasilaw ako’t di ko na nakitang balak mo pala akong gawing prinsesang gusgusin.

131. Wala naman palang laman ang dibdib mo. Parang ulo mo, walang laman

132. Humindig s’ya sa aking dibdib. Sa posteng dati’y nadaraanan ko lamang sa aking pag-uwi sa boarding house, niyakap ko ang babaeng hindi ko maintindihan, habang naririnig n’ya ang tibok ng aking puso

133. Dalhan mo naman ako ng bulaklak. ‘Yung puting-puti, ‘yung parang ang linis-linis. Para sa kabila ng mga kababuyan ko sa buhay, baka-sakali, sa kamatayan, luminis din ako.


Thanks ma'am Lalie!

Dream on a Tuesday Afternoon

Dream on a Tuesday Afternoon

I’m fond of dreams.

I hate it when I don’t get the chance to write it down, because they’re so amusing.
Last night (DAY), I slept well and deep enough that I just remembered the last dream.

My first dream was kinda blurry since scenes just keep on popping on and off my head. And also, I would like to give a head’s up that this is kinda an R-18 dream, there’s some, uh.. Explicit? Scenes in my dream. Hehe.

If you want a whole some one, go jump to my dream #2.

Dream # 1.
All I can remember is that I was in a house and there appears to have celebrity guests there. Osang was there (probably because I was reading on the Osang-Showtime issue before I slept), and what made me smile was Toffee Calma was there, Toffee looks like one of my ex’s, and this time, he’s in front of me (LITERALLY in my dreams!), hunky,cutie and all that jazz!

Then, he went up to a room in front of mine and took off his clothes, and just had a towel wrapped around him; topless. He was talking/asking me something, but I can’t make it out (I’d rather make out with him!) lol. Then, he went downstairs and left the door open and I went inside, took a tour around and for some reason, I smelled his clothes. All I can remember was I was smiling like a kid! Haha! Yep, I guess in my dream, it smells so good that I was giggling like a small girl.

Then, I went downstairs to check on some other things while he took a bath, and yes, I didn’t follow him! What happened downstairs was rather, more eccentric/ more explicit. The people were watching a noon show concert where the hunky guitarist was stripping down to his jeans and played with his tool and later, jacked it off until he released lots… and I mean lots of his man juice! He was gifted enough, that even if it was on television, it’s like the size of the guitar he’s holding already! Then I woke up.

Dream #2.
A blonde girl and a brunette guy and I are friends. We were travelling in a countryside and stopped in a Cliffside because there were monsters that digs up holes and travel by underground, just like those in the movie tremors (*I hate my dream! NO originality! Lol).

Then, there’s this school bus that also stopped so that we’ll all be quiet for them not to attack, however, there’s this little stupid girl who went down the road and made crazy noises. What do you expect? She got eaten, and three more came and this time, my blonde girl-friend went up and asked for their leader, she then surrendered herself to be part of the monster clan, and our brunette boy friend as well! And in return, the leader will let the others go.

Next scene was we got back to the city and they were all surprised that we were still alive, and they didn’t know what happened. All I can remember is that when we got back to school (unfamiliar to me, those schools that look likes the one in the states) and for some reason, we have this club room that we keep to ourselves.

Interesting enough, the brunette guy was given powers to transform, he then then transformed into an octopus and my blonde girl friend was given powers to fly and me, I don’t know my powers but it worked like a ninja thing, that I’m able to tumble jump and back flip effortlessly. The dream ended with a shot outside the room and all you can see are our shadows playing basketball. -End-

Simple Ways to Be Happy in 2010

21 Simple Ways to Be Happy in 2010 from Intent.com


21 Simple Ways to Be Happy in 2010
Posted Tue, 12/29/2009 - 06:30

"Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking."

~ Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

With Marcus Aurelius Antoninus' quote in mind, I invite you to explore 21 Simple Ways to create happiness in 2010!

1. Be your own BFF (best friend forever). Enjoy your own company. Embrace everything about you! Without a doubt, it's the most important step towards being a happy person.

2. Smile, giggle, snicker, or chuckle! Smiling releases serotonin in the brain, which instantaneously gives your mood a lift.

3. Dream big in every area of life. Set your life in motion and manifest your heart's desire.

4. Shut the doors and the windows tight! And then put on your favorite song and sing out loud. Let it rip!

5. Cook a healthy, delicious meal. Serve it up pretty and savor the flavor, one bite at a time.

6. Expect a miracle. Believe that something wonderful will happen for you today. The universe is waiting to shower happy blessings on you.

7. Meditate, pray and chant. Research shows that people who are spiritual tend to be happier and healthier than those who are not.

8. Pull up your best pair of warm socks. Wiggle your toes and enjoy a cozy kind of bliss.

9. Sleep baby sleep. Seven or eight hours each night should increase your energy and decrease your moodiness.

10. Count your blessings daily. Gratitude, the emotion of thankfulness, is one of the key ingredients for living a happy life. Make gratitude a habit and happiness will be yours.

11. Wake up early! Start the day off on a happy foot, with a happy thought. The morning hours
are full of spiritual energy and prana (life force).

12. Let the sun shine in. 20 minutes of sunlight per day improves mood and wards of Seasonal Affection Disorder (SAD).

13. Take a hot bath. Feel the tension melt away as you sink into a pool of happiness.

14. Say "Good Job!" Give yourself permission to pat yourself on the back. Recognize your accomplishments and positive qualities.

15. Happiness is contagious! Surround yourself with happy, positive people who share your values, your goals and dreams.

16. Grow a garden. Watching plants grow and thrive under your care is thrilling!

17. Pencil in 'quiet' time on your calendar. Each and every day sit, without television, without magazines, without the Internet. Just be!

18. Look to the future. Set goals and then make plans to succeed and take action. Pursuing something we value always makes us happy.

19. Accept what you cannot change. Don't waste your precious time, energy or thoughts on something that is beyond your control. Let it go.

20. Curl up on a comfy sofa. Get lost in the pages of a romance novel. Feel the love!

21. Love. Love who you are. Love what you are doing. Love the person your with. Love your friends and your enemies, too. Love! Love! Love!


Spread the love ... not the icing!
Janice

Replay by Iyaz Happyslip's Version

Hope you like this!



Song Lyrics | REPLAY lyrics Iyaz


p.s.

Some people thought that Christine wasn't the one playing the guitar, I posted this other vlog of hers, and watch how SHE answers to those who comments... hahaha!!

Random thoughts; A welcome for 2010

Random thoughts; A welcome for 2010


* Problem with procastination; the blog before this one was made December 29; i just posted it today. I still have several unfinished blogs spread all over my pc at home, here at work and somewhere in my brain; and dreams. I'm still looking for a medicine for that. I just hope everything has a deadline and either a grade or salary that would "drive" me to do things, because Cramming is one of my medicine for that. For some reason, my brain works like Popeye + Spinach if the assignment/work is due the next day. It's been working like that for years, and it started during my college days. I would ace my reports and written projects if its due the next day and wouldn't sleep for the whole 24 hours to complete it, and won't get sleepy. Last year, I was able to do a 48 hours no sleep; after my thursday shift, I finished my report for Saturday class with my Masters, and an exam in the afternoon as well!


*Type-ative; I'm talkative in person; moreso in blogs. If you could've seen my old blogs, in my livejournal, you would see long... long... entries of blogs. especially during those times when i was having my intership since i've nothing much to do. I would post whole album lyrics and all, looking back i feel stupid and asking myself (or old self) why do i have to post such things!? Yesterday, while doing my report, to unstress myself, I cross-posted my blogs here to my multiply and livejournal account. I was laughing inside and can't imagine how childish I wrote when I was in college!


*Save UP; nope, not that university; I'm not powerful enough. I mean is I really need to save money; big time. Good thing there's Kojie to help me out with my savings! Now, I'm on an allowance basis! Just like a kid! Hahaha!! Hopefully will be abe to reach 6 digit by the end of the year. Hehehe. For those who would like to ask how? one of the things I do is to "collect" coins and/or bills. How? Whenever I get a shiny coin, or a 10 peso coin, I don't use them, and it goes straight to my coin bank. That too goes for my new paper bills and 200php bills. Right now, it's close to 20k! Whew! I just hope I won't have any "emergencies" to use it.



*Journal! One of my God-given gifts, weird if I may add is my short term memory loss for general memories; meaning for everything! However, for some reason there are times I'm able to remember when you wore the clothes and how many times you already wore them. I'm fond of re-reading old journal posts and journal entries, I've been keeping journals since I was in high school and until now, it was just last year that I'm not able to update my journal since I was hell busy with my work out. That's why I just bought yesterday my new journal! And just like how the sing goes from Fall Out Boy; "Thanks for the Memories."

*Bigg-er? Healthi-err body? Yep, after this semester, I want to go back to serious work out and yoga, I'm still trying to weigh the possibilities becuase my classmates are taking the summer classes as well; to graduate asap. However, due to my schedule, it's not quite managable, plus health is suffering due to 48-hours-awake during thursday-friday-saturdays every week.

*Give some lovin'! With our new abode on its way, almost everything is coming to place! My bestfriend's little angel is on it's way as well, and even if work is not that 100% perfect, God is still good to me/ or to us! So more for HIM!

*(pictures to follow up!)

Happy Thoughts

I can still recall how Tish, my old trainer from my work say "happy thoughts tish, happy thoughts..." whenever there's something bad going on.

Every now and then, I'll do the same whenever I'm in a bad mood, bad situation or it just ain't right.



I get to be more patient and be happier than the usual, because "the secret," works for me.

Until now, i'm still thinking of those happy thoughts, (and remind me to think of happy thoughts,by saying "happy thoughts mark") and would like to share them with you guys.

One of the things I learned to quickly "shake off" the bad feeling is to think of your favorite song, like your super duper uber favorite song. Right now my top 1 is defying gravity from the series glee. I downloaded the rachel and kurt duo, kurt solo and rachel solo versions. then comes "star ng pasko" of the ABS CBN Christmas plug, special someone gets mad because he thinks I'm thinking of piolo,rather than the song(I crush Piolo). *sniggers* A couple of Naruto opening and closing theme, Kaze's rain, and Ate mari's Worlds collide. happy thoughts.

Next is I have this handy dandy mp3/video player creative zen, which I call Zoden. I downloaded funny videos like K Brosas' version of regine velasquez' tuwing umuulan at kapiling ka, oprah's kick off party at chicago (just watch the video and you'll know why, check it at my multiply account (http://vondraye.multiply.com). Not to mention Happyslip of youtube, did i mention she's a filipina? Check her videos out! i watch these videos to make my day/moment happy. happy thoughts.

If you have a special someone, think of the blooper moments you have with him. When he's making funny faces, when he said something wrong, any moments that you have together that made you smile or laugh..

big time!

Pugad Baboy or Bob Ong; need I say more? Happy thoughts.

Happy thoughts are just like vitamins; you need to take them everyday so I suggest surround yourself with positive and happy people!

Happiness is like a disease; smile and others will follow. So smile to your friends! Better yet, hug them! you have no idea how a hug means to someone.



However, there are exceptions to this. If you're surrounded by not-so negative people; maybe you're there to help them out. Maybe you're the cure/disease they need to uplift them! So be positive! and spread the happy thoughtS!

happy thoughts guys!